Kings & Queens of England

Welcome to the colourful world of the English Royal family – in truth it is a mixture of families, fighting for the crown over the centuries. In the early days, the King’s power was absolute, he could shout ‘off with your head’ – and away it rolled. Sibling rivalry was deadly serious too with brothers killing brothers to sit on the throne. Kings could tax the population as they liked, ordinary people could starve while kings wore jewels. Let’s not forget though how much fun they add to history lessons. In fact when England was briefly a republic in Cromwell’s time, the people were delighted to get a party-loving king back in charge. After all what other family could indulge their love of exotic pets (Henry VII’s monkey ripped up his diary, while George V’s parrot left droppings over the dining table), or find themselves needing to escape capture by wearing disguise, or locking up relatives or refusing to speak for years…. So, if you enjoy finding out about feuding families, sibling rivalry, peculiar personal habits, daring exploits, not to mention politics and religion (I mean really, don’t mention them, wait ’til you read the trouble they’ve caused) then read on….

The Anglo Saxons

Edward the Confessor | 1042 - 1066

Edward the Confessor became king a year after returning from exile in Normandy aged 37. He was made a saint in 1161 and is buried in Westminster Abbey which was rebuilt during his reign. He is though to have been very religious and not a strong king. For the first decade of his reign, his sovereignty was challenged by his eventual father-in-law Godwine of Essex. He is said on his death bed to have appointed Harold II as his successor, but this was disputed by William the Conqueror, to whom he was distantly related.

Harold II | 1066

Harold II is known as the last Anglo-Saxon king of England. He famously died during the battle of Hastings (October 1066) as a result of suffering a wound from an arrow in his eye. Not everyone agrees with this, mainly because the story emerged 30 years after his death. He successfully defended the north of England from a viking raid at the battle of Stamford Bridge (Yorkshire), killing his own brother Tostig, but his army was too tired and depleted in numbers to defend the south from the Normans, lead by William the Conqueror.

William I | 1066 - 1087

William was crowned the first Norman King of England on Christmas Day 1066 and celebrated by touring the country, laying waste to it and punishing any dissenters with death. Fairly gruesomely, he favoured skinning people, chopping off their hands and blinding them. Although he couldn’t read or write, he commissioned the Domesday Book in 1085 to see how much his country was worth. When he died, after impaling himself on the saddle of his horse, he was too fat for his stone coffin. The resulting force needed to encarcerate him put pressure on his body, bursting his bowels. The smell was so bad, people fled from the Abbey.

William II | 1087 - 1100

Unusually, William’s youngest son, rather than eldest, became king after his death. He was small, ginger, violent, very unpopular and vain. He was known as ‘Rufus’ which translates from Latin as ‘Red’. He died after being fatally wounded by an arrow during a hunting expedition. Suspicion later fell on his younger brother Henry who is accused of organising the assassination. He is said to have gone straight from the scene of the alleged accident to Westminster to claim the crown and his brother’s fortune, almost before the body was cold.

Henry I | 1100 - 1135

Henry became king upon William’s death. Not content with the £5,000 he was left by his late father, he also took the throne while his elder brother Robert was fighting the crusades. Eventually he faced him in battle, taking him prisoner until he died almost 30 years later. He was much better to his subjects than he was to his family. He instigated a Charter of Liberties to give them rights. His son William died at sea and this is said to have broken his heart. He died while visiting his daughter and suffering food poisoning from eating shellfish, which seems fishy…..

Stephen | 1135-1154

Stephen took the throne Henry I had intended for his daughter, Matilda and for almost twenty years the cousins fought. Meanwhile the people of England were starving and struggling during this time known as ‘the Anarchy’. Stephen had popular support - kings were always seen as being preferable to queens. Matilda was daring though and escaped capture more than once. Although she had a brief taste of being Queen, Matilda’s reign didn’t last and eventually the Treaty of Wallingford was signed which allowed Stephen to reign during his lifetime on condition the crown passed to Matilda’s son on his death.

Henry II | 1154 - 1216

The first Plantagenet king and a great reformer of religious and legal institutions. He introduced trial by jury, which remains in place today. He was regarded as strong and intelligent but prone to fits of rage. During one of these he argued with Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury. Thinking they would please him, his knights killed Thomas. Henry was full of remorse and walked barefoot to Canterbury to be whipped by monks by order of the Pope. Thomas was later made a saint. Henry eventually died of dysentary (diarrhoea).

Richard I | 1189 - 1199

Richard I was known as Richard the Lionheart (coeur de lion). He was regarded as a great hero for his part in the Third Crusade which was a long-running war between Christians and Muslims for ownership of the holy lands. Legend has it that he was not above dressing in disguise to save his skin, once pretending to be a kitchen boy in Austria. As king, he practically bankrupt England and sold parts of the north to the Scots. The king spoke no English, only French and was in England for less than a year during his ten year reign. He died of gangrene following an injury during a battle.

John | 1199 - 1216

John is known as ‘the Bad’ king. Even before he was king, he took advantage of the absence of his brother Richard I to heavily tax his people. He is the evil baron Robin Hood fought against. When Richard I was imprisoned during the Crusades, he tried to bribe his captives to keep him for longer! Finally, following defeat in battles in France, Norman nobility tried to force him to change, making him ‘stamp’ the 1215 Magna Carter. This was to ensure the king had less power and the people had more rights. He is said to have the lost the crown jewels to the sea while crossing the Wash, in East Anglia, shortly before he died.

Henry III | 1216 - 1272

Henry was crowned king at the age of 9 with his mother’s tiara, after his father lost the crown jewels in the Wash. During his long reign he demanded lots of money from his subjects which led to a civil war. Eventually he agreed to be subject to the Great Council and the first parliament. His wife Eleanor was equally unpopular. Having taken refuge from the mob in the Tower of London she tried to escape by boat along the river Thames. She was spotted by the crowd and pelted with vegetables which she gamely threw back. Henry is said to have opened the first zoo by keeping three leopards at the Tower and a polar bear that fished for salmon in the Thames.

Edward I | 1272 - 1307

Know as ‘Longshanks’ he was tall and unafraid of battle. He made it possible to travel safely across England by beating the outlaws at their own game. He challenged one, a knight, to a battle. When he won, the outlaws agreed not to rob anyone anymore. He’s also known for the gruesome punishment he gave the man who, with the help of nearly 50 monks, stole the crown jewels. The monks were pardoned but Richard de Podlicote was hanged and his skin displayed around the treasury. He was still battling aged 68, having made his son Prince of Wales and become the ‘Hammer of the Scots’ because he beat them so often.

Edward II | 1307 - 1327

Edward II was not a warrior like his father. Edward I had fought the Scots for years but Edward II famously lost the Battle of Bannockburn. He preferred the life of the court to the battlefield and the company of his good friends, Gaveston and Despenser. Unfortunately he was surrounded by people who wished to control him so both his friends came to sticky ends…..as did he. His queen, Isabella, and her admirer Roger Mortimer were responsible for his hideous death. On her orders, Mortimer’s army captured and imprisoned Edward. He died from an injury inflicted by a red hot poker inserted into his bowels through his backside.

Edward III | 1327 - 1377

Edward III became king aged 15. He was a popular king, successfully defeating the Welsh and the Scots. His weapon of choice was the longbow. Edward is said to have banned football so that his knights were not distracted and spent time practicing their archery. He called himself the King of France, and so began the hundred year war with the French. During his reign English became the national language, rather than Latin and French. Parliament was strengthened and St George became the patron saint of England. Unfortunately during his fifty year reign the Black death wiped out at least a third of the English population.

Richard II | 1377 - 1399

Richard II was 10 when he was crowned. Aged 14 he faced down Wat Tyler who led the Peasant’s Revolt against the Poll Tax which was introduced following the Black Death. He was subsequently so unpopular vegetables were thrown at him as he rode by. Luckily, and unusually at this time, he liked to take baths. Eventually even his greyhound deserted him, taking Henry’s IV side when he deposed him. He died from starvation as a prisoner in Pontefract Castle, never having recovered from the death of his wife, Anne.

Henry IV | 1399 - 1413

Henry IV was the first king of the Royal House of Lancaster. At the time of his coronation, he was crawling with head lice. In addition he suffered from headache, fits and an irritating skin complaint. After taking the crown from his cousin Richard, it is said he slept in his armour, so fearful was he of a challenge to his reign. Although Parliament did not oppose his rule, he was not popular with his people, enduring revolts from Wales, Scotland and the north of England. Even his wife suffered - Joan of Navarre was accused of being a witch!

Henry V | 1413 - 1422

Henry V celebrated a famous victory against the French at the Battle of Agincourt in 1415 even though the odds were against him (which might be why he took ten doctors with him). While 6000 French soldiers died, Henry lost only 400 of his English troops. He was assisted by the muddy conditions which trapped the French allowing skilled English archers to pick them off. In compliance with the Treaty of Troyes, the French king allowed his daughter Catherine to marry Henry. Unfortunately he died two years later, never having seen his infant son or become King of France. His body was shipped home for burial after being boiled and dismembered to preserve it.

Henry VI | 1422 - 1461

Henry VI was 8 months old when he became king of England and then France. He was considered a weak king, ushering in the War of the Roses between the Houses of York and Lancaster that lasted over 30 years. At times during his life his mental health wasn’t strong leaving his wife Margaret of Anjou to fight for him. She was captured during the Battle of Tewksbury and was only freed when the king of France paid a ransom. Henry founded Eton College and Kings College, Cambridge. He lost his throne twice and was murdered at the Tower of London. Every year since roses and lillies are laid there to commemorate his death.

Edward IV | 1461 - 1483

Edward IV resided over a fairly peaceful time in English history although he is the king who reigned twice, killed his own brother and passed a law banning cricket. Edward was briefly deposed when his friend Warwick turned against him supposedly for marrying a commoner. He was considered an able ruler, restoring prosperity to England and taking an interest in the legal system. Edward was considered tall and handsome when young but he was prone to overeating and died of a heartattack aged 40.

Edward V | 1483

Edward V was the eldest of the two princes famously confined in the Tower of London. Edward was just 12 when his father died, his brother Richard was 10. Their uncle Richard III asked Parliament if he could be their guardian. Once he had approval, he sent the princes to the tower, supposedly to keep them safe. No-one is sure what happened to the princes next, although it is alleged that Richard had them murdered. All that’s certain is that 150 years after their initial incarceration, the bones of two small boys were discovered, hidden in the tower…

Richard III | 1483 - 1485

Richard III is said to have murdered his nephews even though he was devoted to their late father, his brother Edward IV. Shakespeare cast him as a cruel, hunchbacked tyrant, others say he was a fair and courageous soldier. He became King when his nephew, Edward V was declared illegitimate and deposed. Two years later, Richard died at the Battle of Bosworth Field, ending the War of the Roses. Historians say he refused to flee even though his death was certain. He was the last king to die in battle. In 2015 his remains were reburied in Leicester Cathedral having been found underneath a nearby car park two years earlier.

Henry VII | 1485 - 1509

Henry VII killed Richard III at the Battle of Bosworth Field. He was the first Tudor king. He united the Houses of Lancaster and York by marrying the niece of Richard III, Elizabeth. To celebrate, he commissioned a design that incorporated both roses. He reigned over a largely peaceful and prosperous time in English history. He was economically astute and championed art and literature. He even liked to write himself, and kept a diary that is said to have been shredded to bits by his pet monkey.

Henry VIII | 1509 - 1547

Henry VIII is famous for having six wives, two of whom he had beheaded to make way for the next one. He had really wanted to marry his second wife, Anne Boleyn. He formed the Church of England just for that purpose but when she was beheaded he is said to have gone for a game of tennis! He was sporty and handsome when young, but grew old, fat and grumpy. He was very disappointed with his wives when they failed to produce male heirs. When they gave him daughters he refused to attend their christenings. He is believed to be responsible for the death of over 50,000 people during his 38 year reign.

Edward VI | 1547 - 1553

Edward VI was crowned at the age of 9. He was the son of Henry and his third wife Jane Seymour who died soon after his birth. In an effort to force a marriage between Edward and his half-sister Mary, the Scots fought and lost to the English at the battle of Pinkie Cleugh. Edward continued his father’s faith by presiding over the first Book of Common Prayer. Despite his pious nature, he had his uncle Seymour executed for shooting his dog in a foiled assassination attempt. Edward died aged 15 from tuberculosis, having been in poor health all his life.

Jane | 1553

Lady Jane Grey ruled for 9 days. She was well-educated and intelligent. Her early childhood was strict and she was often scolded by her mother. She had more fun when she went to live with Catherine Parr to learn royal manners. During this time she became friends with Edward VI who named her as his successor. This was to stop his sister Mary becoming queen and returning the populace to catholicism. Jane was only 15 when Mary I took the throne. She was beheaded immediately after her husband Lord Guildford Dudley.

Mary I | 1553 - 1558

Mary I accedes the throne after the death of Jane. She became known as ‘Bloody Mary’ because of her zealous persecution of Protestants. She wanted to make England a Catholic country once more and favoured the methods employed by the Spanish Inquisition. She had Protestants tortured and burned, including Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury. Her Spanish husband shared her beliefs but he still left her two years after their marriage and became king of Spain. During Mary’s reign the French regained Calais, reuniting the whole of their country. Mary died of a stomach tumour.

Elizabeth I | 1558 - 1603

Elizabeth I reigned for almost 45 years as a single woman, despite many suitors, and Parliament’s wish that she marry. She wore heavy lead make-up to cover her small pox scars and wigs to cover her baldness. She is said to have boasted that she bathed once a month. She ordered the execution of Mary Queen of Scots but apologised to her son James I (so that’s alright....) She strengthened Protestant rule by becoming head of the Church of England. She introduced Poor Laws to tax the rich, but she also encouraged slave-trading. During her prosperous reign, bad weather and Francis Drake defeated the Spanish Armada and 17,000 Londoners died of the plague.

The Stuarts

James I | 1603 - 1625

James I was already King of Scotland (there he was known as James VI). He was the first Stuart king of England. He was a Protestant, the King James bible emerged during his reign but he allowed his son Charles to marry a Catholic. Scottish kings believed God chose them to rule so he ignored the English Parliament. He survived the foiling of the Gunpowder Plot in 1605. Guy Fawkes and his men were upset that the Catholics of the country were still being persecuted. He was considered to be a foolish man with poor personal hygiene. He ended his days worrying about assassination and died of a stroke.

Charles I | 1625 - 1649

Charles I was small and shy. He became king after his eldest brother Henry died. He ignored Parliament and ruled ‘by divine right’ for 11 years, increasing taxes. His lack of respect led to a Civil War between the royalists/cavaliers with the long hair and the parliamentarians/roundheads with the bowl haircuts. Oliver Cromwell’s New Model Army (the roundheads) defeated Charles at the Battle of Naseby. He wore two vests at his execution, so people wouldn’t see him shiver and think it was fear. After he was beheaded his head was sewn back on so that people could pay their respects.

Charles II | 1649 - 1685

Charles II was reportedly an ugly baby but he grew up to be the ‘Merry Monarch’. During England’s five year period as a republic he repeatedly tried to win back the throne but was forced into exile. After Cromwell’s death, Parliament finally asked him to take the throne. Charles overturned Cromwell’s ban on fun and merriment, making him a popular ruler. His reign is associated with the Plague, the Great Fire of London and an orange seller by the name of Nell Gwyn. He converted to catholicism on his deathbed in accordance with the Treaty of Dover.

James II | 1685 - 1688

James II was the brother of Charles II. Despite issuing the Declaration of Indulgence, which was supposed to make all religions equally important, James appeared to be trying to return England to the Catholic religion. Prominent Protestants took steps to avoid this by passing the crown to James’ Protestant daughter Mary and her husband William. James was exiled to France where he died. However, he didn’t get to rest in peace, as his remains were excavated during the protests that marked the French revolution.

William and Mary | 1685 - 1702

William III and Mary II took the throne from James II, who was Mary’s father, and defeated him a year later at the Battle of the Boyne. The battle pitched Protestants against Catholics, and the date is still commemorated by Irish Protestants. Although William and Mary were known as joint rulers their powers were limited by Parliament. However Mary made her mark by designing the gardens at Hampton Court Palace with Christopher Wren. When Mary died of smallpox, William was heartbroken as were the legal profession. Lawyers went into mourning and still wear black today.

Anne | 1702 - 1714

Anne was daughter to James II and the last Stuart to rule. She was happily married and would have mothered at least 13 children had they all survived. Her husband George was considered to be incredibly boring. Anne was short at 4ft 9 inches and so overweight she was carried in a chair to her Coronation. The Act of Union came to pass during her reign, uniting Scotland and England, making her the first monarch of Great Britain. She enjoyed eating, playing card games, drinking brandy and tea. Tea drinking was established in England at this time.

The House of Hannover

George I | 1727 - 1760

George I didn’t speak English, he was a nobleman from Germany. He became king aged 54 because he was a Protestant. Parliament ruled for him and appointed the first Prime Minister, Robert Walpole. Although George openly had mistresses he wouldn’t tolerate his wife’s admirer, Count Konigsmark. He allegedly had him strangled and buried beneath his wife’s chambers. He then imprisoned his wife Dorothea for 32 years at Ahlden Castle in Germany. She never saw her children again.

George II | 1727 - 1760

George II hated his father for imprisoning his mother when he was 4 and would only see him on formal occasions. George’s marriage to his wife Caroline was strong and he often took her advice. Queen Caroline advised him to let Robert Walpole continue to act as prime minister. She was modern in her thinking even having her children vaccinated against smallpox. King George was known as the last king to be born abroad, the last king to fight a battle (aged 60) and the last king to order a beheading at the Tower of London.

George III | 1760 - 1820

George III , grandson of George II, reigned for 60 years and spoke English rather than German. America’s independence from Britain was established after the Civil War which began with the Boston Tea Party. However, Britain was successful against France at the Battle of Trafalgar, with Nelson at the helm. This time was known as the Age of Enlightment when arts, sciences and learning were emphasised. George survived an attempted assassination at the theatre. Towards the end of his life he lived as a recluse at Windsor Castle, having become both deaf and dumb as a result of a debilitating mental condition.

George IV | 1820 - 1830

George IV was a handsome and fashionable Prince Regent, ruling on behalf of his father for a decade when he was too ill to reign. During this time the National Gallery, British Museum and Royal Acadamy of Music flourished, reflecting George’s appreciation of the arts. However, the British people resented George’s extravagence at a time when they were suffering hardship and he was hugely unpopular. He married Caroline of Brunswick whom he disliked on first sight and later tried unsuccessfully to divorce. Towards the end of his life he was so overweight he couldn’t climb the palace stairs and slept on the ground floor.

William IV | 1830 - 1837

Wiliam IV became king at the age of 64, making him the oldest monarch to take the throne. He spent most of his life in the navy where he presumably picked up the habit of spitting in public. He was an informal king. He enjoyed riding in his carriage and would give lifts to strangers. When inviting people to dine, he would always tell them not to bother to dress up. Adelaide in Australia is named after his wife. During his reign the Poor Law was strengthened, child labour laws were brought in and slavery was abolished.

Victoria | 1837 - 1901

Victoria was the longest reigning British monarch. She was also the first monarch to have a funeral full of pomp and pagentry, previously most royals were buried at night. Victoria married a German prince, Albert, with whom she had 9 children. After his death Victoria wore black until she died 40 years later. During her reign Britain became a powerful empire and she was known as ‘the Grandmother of Europe’ because her children all married european royalty. Children under 12 were given free education for the first time and the Irish potato famine claimed the lives of more than a million people.

The Windsors

Edward VII | 1901 - 1910

Edward VII became king aged 60. His mother Queen Victoria would have liked him to take the title King Albert I but he rebelled. His dutiful and strict parents tried to steer him, but Edward preferred drinking, smoking, girlfriends and hunting. However he was a bad shot, taking out the eye of Prince Christian who thereafter amassed a collection of glass eyes. It wasn’t all play during his reign though, he made a treaty with France, the Entente Cordiale, and was nicknamed Edward the Peacemaker. He also modernised the Palace by installing flushing toilets.

George V | 1910 - 1936

George V was king when World War I broke out. He changed the family name to Windsor, rather than the more German sounding Saxe-Coburg-Gothe to prove his loyalty to England. He also made the first Christmas Day royal broadcast. This ensured his popularity especially since he had to overcome a stammer to do so. He lived modestly with his wife, to whom he was devoted, and enjoyed stamp collecting. He kept a pet parrot but this didn’t stop him killing over a thousand birds in one day while out hunting with his friends. George was a heavy smoker and died of lung disease.

Edward VIII | 1936

Edward VIII never wore the crown although it was repaired especially for him having been damaged during George V’s funeral ceremony. He was king for less than a year. He fell in love with a twice-divorced American woman named Wallace Simpson. When he was told she couldn’t be Queen of England he refused to be king. He became Duke of Windsor instead and wrote ‘A King’s Story’’. He lived in France with the duchess, rarely returning to England. He had a pug dog that slept on the end of his bed until the night he died aged 77. That night it chose to sleep on the floor.

George VI | 1936 - 1952

George VI became king on the abdication of his brother. Like his father he had a stammer. He married Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon after asking her for nearly three years. They had two daughters, Elizabeth and Margaret. During the bombing of World War II, the couple stayed in London and visted the East End to see the damage for themselves, which made them a popular couple. George was athletic when young and won a trophy playing tennis at Wimbledon. He also enjoyed embroidery and made the covers for a set of dining chairs. Unfortunately he was a heavy smoker and died aged 56 from lung cancer.

Elizabeth II | 1952 - Present

The present Queen is our longest reigning monarch. She was fortunate enough to marry for love and is the mother of four children. The Queen has owned over 30 corgis and absolutely loves her dogs, even though one bit her as she broke up a fight. During the war she trained as a driver with the Womens Auxiliary Territorial Army. Recently she drove a Saudi prince around her estate, which was a shock to him because women aren’t allowed to drive in his country. The Queen was known as Lilibet as a child because that’s how she pronounced her own name. These days, she is possibly the richest woman in the world as head of the royal family (which she refers to as ‘the firm’).